Reaching for that Better Feeling
Sometimes we don’t know why something happens or doesn’t. We may never know.
When something doesn’t go your way, allow yourself to have the initial reaction. Then move on. The quicker you can get to a space where you can acknowledge that it didn’t show up the way you wanted, the quicker you can allow something really good to come from that.
In short, find something good about what happens.
Being grateful for everything (even those things that are seemingly “bad”) isn’t always easy, but it will bring more ease into your daily life experiences. Easy and ease are not the same thing.
Everything works to your advantage. (This is a really good rule to adopt, by the way.)
Years ago, we had a dog named Cole B. One night he ate chocolate. For those of you who don’t know, chocolate and dogs are a bad combination. Being a new dog owner, I freaked out, and we brought him to the nighttime veterinarian. We drove 30 minutes to be told that the amount of chocolate he ate wasn’t significant enough for any lasting effects.
During the exam, the vet was palpating Cole B’s stomach and found a mass. It turned out that our sweet, garbage surfing dog had ingested a tampon. If I hadn’t freaked out about the chocolate, we might have had more of an issue on our hands.
We were grateful for the chocolate incident because it revealed a bigger problem that we could then deal with before it became troublesome. And needless to say, we got garbage cans with lids.
The next time something supposedly “bad” happens, look for things that you are grateful about it. Sometimes, it’s obvious (such as when Cole B ate the chocolate). Other times, it may take a bit of digging on your part.
Three ways to dig in and find what is “right” about the situation:
Gratitude sentences. Take a look at all the aspects of the problem. Then, write at least ten gratitude sentences for each aspect.
Even though.... Choose one of the following sentences are repeat over and over. Fill in the x’s and y’s accordingly.
Even though x happened, I’m grateful about y.
Even though x, I choose to be happy anyway.
Even though x, this is wonderful because _________.
Even though my desire didn’t show up as I wanted, I’m grateful because ______.
Ask a question. Asking a question opens the space for the answer to pop in.
What is right about this?
If I knew what the advantages were, what might they be?
How might this work to my advantage?
I have used these methods and they work wonders. It may take writing a few sentences or pages to shift your perspective and feelings. Or if you aren’t into writing, and prefer to do it orally, then do that.
The better you feel, the more ease you invite into your daily experiences. The whole idea is to be able to feel better and better as you change your perspective. Then from this better feeling place, you can make choices that line up with this better feeling leading you to a new outcome.
So, the next time something happens and your immediate reaction is “OH NO,” take a moment to feel your feelings and then begin to open the space for that better feeling to pop in.
