Bravery – Moving Through Uncomfortableness
“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.” – George Bernard Shaw
We all face uncomfortable situations at some point in our lives. This is when things feel impossible. Sometimes, they scare us, and we have to do it anyway.
Think about confronting a problem or having to tell someone something they won’t like, making a phone call to someone new, or learning something new, such as driving a car for the first time. Your heart races. Your body starts to sweat. It’s difficult to swallow. Possibly, you even want to run away and not face whatever it is.
You have an uncomfortable feeling. It’s how you handle the uncomfortableness that will influence your responses.
There is a whole chain reaction that occurs when we are in the midst of uncomfortable situations. We are faced with whatever the situation is (the stimulus). We interpret the situation through our point of view (perception). We hold tight to our preconceived notions of how this situation will impact us (belief). We consciously or subconsciously think about the situation (thought), and then we feel those sensations in our bodies (feeling) that ultimately form how we respond (act).
When you are faced with uncomfortable situations, the best place to be is at peace within yourself. At this point, you have total choice and nothing “bothers” you or influences your choices. When you are at peace, you can simply act without reacting from preconceived perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, or feelings. This peace can be attained with practice.
However, if you are not at the peace point and you still have to deal with the uncomfortableness, you will need a bit of bravery, which is when you are willing to do the uncomfortable in spite of the fear. It’s when you act from courage. In other words, you do it anyway.
When you act with bravery, you are making a change in the chain reaction and choosing how you will act. You are taking control of how you show up, which will change the outcome in your favor.
What prevents us from being brave?
There is no one reason why people are afraid to take an action. It all depends on what your inner monologue is saying and what you are feeling about what you are thinking. In reality, it’s about dealing with fear of doing something. For example:
Parents. We learn from our parents and imitate many of their behaviors. If we grew up learning one way of being or behaving from our parents, we are very likely to think this is the way things are done, which influences our limiting beliefs. In reality, it’s one way things can be done.
Judgment. When we judge, we have an opinion (usually unfavorable) of ourselves or others. We then react based upon this opinion, or perception. In reality, the judgment is often flawed and it twists us up in knots. For as you judge others, you are inviting judgment to come find you.
Negative self-talk. These are the things that we say to ourselves. Some we know we are saying (even as a joke) and some we say unconsciously. For example, “I’ll never be able to....” “I’d rather die than....” “I never get it right....” and so on. Our words are powerful. They fuel our perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, and are ultimately broadcast out to the Universe as our desires.
Change. Things are different and are not as you expect them to be. There is uncertainty involved. Uncertainty can feel scary if you are willing to be a slave to your feelings instead of changing your feelings to change your life.
Stress. Stress is a pressure or tension that effects the body. Many times, the pressure is within our own minds. Stress can come from within yourself or from an outside event or force. Again, this is a moment to check in to see if your feelings are controlling you.
Pleasing others. Many people want so badly to be liked or accepted that they try to please others and forget about pleasing themselves. Soon, they don’t even know what they want and are constantly trying to figure out how to please others.
Hurry. Rushing, rushing, rushing, revs up your internal systems and squeezes out the space you have for peace. When you hurry, you are literally choosing the opposite of peace. You are also speeding up the chain reaction process and allowing your subconscious programming to react instead of intentionally choosing how to act.
Emotional tags. An event happens. You have an emotional reaction that becomes a tag for the memory of the event. This emotional tag stresses your body every time you even think of the event. It’s as if you are actually repeating the event every time you talk about or remember it because you feel it each time.
For example, if you talked to someone important on the phone, they yelled at you, and you got upset, it’s possible that you could put an emotional tag on all phone calls. Thus, every time you go to make a phone call, you feel the stress of being yelled at over and over again – even though it was just one event and you haven’t even made the present phone call yet. You are repeating the past emotional tag in your body.
You can claim your power over your thoughts and feelings and choose how you want to show up in the world. It’s possible.
How to be Brave
Be responsible. Accept responsibility for your choices. Once you do this, you have more choice about what shows up in your reality. You give up being a victim and you can step into your true power. What would it take for you to accept responsibility for your life?
Choose. Make a choice to be brave. This is the choice to do something even though it is uncomfortable. If you could choose to be brave, would you?
Start small. Start by pausing and taking a deep breath. This small action prepares your body to be begin.
Just like when you run a marathon, you start with a single step. The entire marathon is daunting, whereas the single step is doable. It’s possible. Find some small way that you can be brave and build this internal muscle so that you become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. Turn the impossible into the possible. What small step can you take to be just a little bit braver in this moment?
Build confidence. The more you successfully do something, the more confidence you gain. So, look for ways you are or can be successful. Notice everything that you can do, even the little stuff. This will change your perspective and help you build confidence. In what ways are you already successful?
Experiment. Role play and practice before you actually do. This can be with another person or as a visualization in your mind. Imagine the entire situation with positive outcome and build those comfortable feelings while you practice. Then when it’s time to actually do, it will be easier to be brave. If you were to experiment, what would you do?
Quit telling yourself you can’t. Often we talk ourselves out of being brave, and all it is, is talk. What you tell yourself becomes your reality. What are you saying that trip you up? What could you be saying instead?
Stretch and persevere. Try a little more. Remember the marathon? Take the next step and then the one after that and the one after that. Keep going step after step. What is your next step?
You are not a victim to your situations, thoughts, or feelings until you let yourself be. When you have the proper emotional mindset, bravery becomes easy.
And once you are brave, watch as the magical world of possibilities unfolds in front of you.
Are you brave enough to step into your magical future starting today?
