What is it you would like? Getting along with your family? More time in the day? Less to do? High Vibes of kindness, peace, joy, and enthusiasm? Whatever it is, put your focus there. Forget for the moment about what is and imagine what could be. Involve all of your senses to make the imagined thoughts feel even more real.

Questions open the door to something better. Take a moment and imagine what the answer to the following questions might be…

• If you could touch kindness, what would it feel like?

• If you could see kindness, what might that look like?

• If you could hear kindness, what might that sound like?

• And so on…

The more you focus on something the more real it becomes.  The more real it becomes, the greater the possibility you can experience it. I’ll bet that when you read these questions, something popped up in your mind. Perhaps the touch of kindness feels like a hug from your favorite grandparent. Or the look of kindness is someone helping your great-aunt Erma get food from the buffet. Or the sound of kindness includes words that open allowance (for example, announcing that dinner is ready, but you let go of everyone having to stop what they are doing at that exact time and you allow people to come at a more leisurely pace.)

Questions like these help you to notice the kindness around you. The more you notice it, the more the Universe will bring kindness into your experience to notice.

Questions work because they allow for some wiggle room for your subconscious to bring something new to your thoughts and experiences. A statement closes the door and doesn’t allow for new possibilities, such as, “Be kind.” We’d think that this is positive, but it sounds dictatorial. Instead try asking a question such as, “If I was kind in this moment, what might I do?” This type of question is softer and gives your inner self (your subconscious) a say in the matter.

Keep the questions forward-looking. Forget about the past. Don’t ask whiny questions such as, “Why can’t I ever be happy?” Keep asking questions that focus on the high vibes. Suggested questions are:

• What would it take to be happy in this moment? (This is a great question when your family is in turmoil around the dinner table.)

• What would be possible if I was kind? (This is a great question when someone “inadvertently” says something that offends you.)

• What possibilities might jump in my path if peace filled me? (This is a great question when you are rushing around doing last minute shopping.)

• If I could imagine my relationship being filled with _______ (laughter, peace, enthusiasm, acceptance, etc.), what might show up? (This question helps you imagine any and all relationships as you might like them to be.)

• If I let go of the past, what magical future awaits me? (This question is good when you are getting ready to go to bed at night. It helps you leave the day that already happened behind and helps your subconscious prepare for something magical in the next day. You are programming yourself to look for these magical experiences.)

Once you have asked the questions, you may notice that you have let go of some of the anxiety and down feelings that you had been experiencing. Just because you experienced them in the past doesn’t mean you have to bring them into your future. The same argument you have been having with your cousin Marvin doesn’t have to continue this year. You can choose something different. You don’t have to participate. What would it take to be at peace no matter what Marvin says?

(Here is a hint, you can talk to Marvin with your thoughts…through the airwaves…before you even see him. Imagine what you would like to say to him and then “send it” to him through the airwaves. Remember to imagine what you would like, such as, “Marvin, I would like to have a calm conversation. I look forward to each of us listening with grace and gratitude. Thank you for this great holiday experience.”)

Pay attention to your body and notice how much lighter and expansive you feel when you put down the emotions you no longer desire and pick up the feelings you choose to have. Your body will let you know when you are slipping out of high vibe. It’s up to you to pay attention to the signs (tense muscles, clenched jaw, hunching over, stomach churning, etc.) and do something about it. Choose the high vibe and start asking yourself some questions to wiggle into the better feelings.

Are you willing to let go of the old and allow for a future more magnificent than you ever could have imagined? And are you willing to have a future like that now?